Mishaps in Montreal

Once upon a time, a wild Megan traveled to Montreal, Canada to solve life’s mysteries.

Canadian bacon- My whole life I was warned cautionary tales of this ‘canadian bacon’. Maybe it does exist, but when I asked for bacon, I got regular, normal, American bacon. The real tragedy is the fact that nowhere I went served croutons...and I eat those by the bowl despite the judgemental looks of my friends and family.

No ice- Okay so you order a drink and the waiter brings you a nice TEPID glass of water that tastes like chlorine. Yum. There is nothing better than lukewarm water after 3 hours of walking. No restaurants I went to used ice…maybe it’s just BYOI and I missed out.

Disease- Perhaps it’s from their chemically water, but everyone seems to be diseased...I think I read about it once, it was called happiness? I don’t know, but I’ve never see it in the states before. Imagine: smiles...smiles everywhere and people dancing….in public *gasp*

Research Before You Leave- A “super great comedy show” can turn out to be literally just a bunch of hipster millenials improvising on stage about a magical world with a seamstress and a half robot overlord. I love sci fi but this show was a disgrace to humankind. Meanwhile, you are stuffed into someone’s abandoned apartment sitting on folding chairs watching this for over an hour. Anyone want tickets?

Unspoken Rules- In NYC people will mow you down to cross the street before you, clearly because they are more important *eh ehm*. But in Canada, they wait. I’m talking about even when the street is entirely empty they will not cross until the walk sign appears. If you break this unspoken rule, you will receive nasty looks. Whoops!

In reality, Montreal is a beautiful city with friendly people and delicious (and overpriced) food. I would recommend visiting-it’s like a much quieter, cleaner, happier version of NYC. Plus, everybody there speaks French, which gave me an excuse to shout “BONJOUR” at strangers.