A week without coffee: A Memoir
In loving remembrance of the barista who sacrificed caffeine for the greater good of her readers
Every once in awhile I like to keep my body in check by going on a caffeine cleanse to re lower my tolerance. This prevents me from drinking too much during stressful times like midterms and finals (or any big paper for that matter). It also prevents me from getting the jitters and ya know, casual stomach ulcers. So let us embark on this beautiful (painful) journey together:
Day 1: Let. Me. Tell. You. The headache. Was. Real. Despite the pleasant pounding in my skull, when I met a friend for coffee in the afternoon I ordered decaf coffee. It was honestly such a proud moment. And later on when I went on a midnight escapade to the diner, I ordered decaf tea. Day 1? Smashed it.
Day 2: I woke up with some sort of 48 hour virus that made me feel weak and lethargic...something that coffee probably could have helped with right? Hahah..hahah..haha NOPE! Not for this gal! STAY STRONG.
Day 3: I was dying for an afternoon pick me up so I scooped up some blue icing with a fork and went to town on it. Probably not the best idea but it was just sitting there taunting me with its sugary goodness and blue glory.
The sugar rush was intense and my mom was not a fan of my smurf teeth.
Day 4: This was rather tricky since I actually had work in the a.m and as you know, I am indeed a barista. Working with coffee and filling the needs of my customers was an ironic torture but I pushed through the pain. People admired my will to stick to it (only because they couldn’t hear my internal screams)
Day 5: Another early shift = another painful day. After much pleading from my shift manager, I drank one single espresso shot to give myself an edge. My store is too fast paced for the caffeine devoid. There is the saying, “you snooze you lose”. Well in my case, you snooze and you scald every layer of skin off of your hand when you spill freshly brewed tea. Coffee? Psh who needs it.
Day 6: Wondering when the week will come to an end. Please, make it stop.
Day 7: The dull roar in my head had pretty much quieted and I was feeling pretty accomplished. That is until I realized we just got a new bean blend in our shipment and had to try it. Very much so a fan of Kopelani. 10/10 would recommend. I mean...no. Caffeine bad. Sleep good. Resist...must resist.
Then my exhausted body disintegrated in a corner of my beloved coffee shop and I was never to be heard from again. Okay, maybe that last part only happened in my head, but whatever.
I made it through the week and have started drinking half caf before work, which is great improvement from my enormous cup of blonde I used to down. While I don’t recommend quitting cold turkey like I did- unless you’re a masochist, then by all means- it is important that we take care of our health.
If nothing else, it was an excellent reminder that everything is good in moderation.
I challenge you to challenge your own addictions and habits...but just in case they aren’t as easy as you originally thought, keep a tub of icing on standby.